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– Who are you ?
I look down and smile. I see a boy. He looks at me, somewhat shyly, but his eyes are burning with curiosity. It’s getting dark and he should be home, but he is here, alone.
– Well! Who are you ?
– I am Christ……
– NO YOU ARE NOT !!! – cold, harsh voice brutally interrupts my answer.
This voice. I really hate the sound of it. I look into the darkness. I see men in uniforms. Strong beam of blinding light suddenly hits my eyes. I can see no more. The boy is scared. He hides behind me and grab my hand. He is trembling with fear. I hear steps. They getting close. Way to close. They are my enemy. I need to do something. I feel the shape of stone in the palm of my right hand. My leading hand. Without looking, I throw my stone into the light. Glass breaks and darkness encompasses us again. I grab boy and run. Run for life. I do not stop until I feel safe again. I’m panting, but I am calm again.
– Where do you live ?
– There ! – small hands points into directions of tall communal buildings.
I walk him home. It’s dark already. I knock and the doors opens.
– Joseph ! Where have you been ?! – girl’s voice, trembling with anxiety, belongs to boy’s mom.
She is young woman looking at me with suspicion.
– Who are you ? – she asks holding Joseph tightly in her arms.
– He is Christ – answers Joseph
– I am Christopher.
– Joseph, my friend ! Promise me you will never leave your Mom again, OK ? You must protect her. You are the man. Promise ?
– I promise ! – Joseph looks at me and smile.
I say goodbye and walk the streets of my City again. Alone. There, in the darkness, oddly enough I feel safe again. No enemy in sight.
– Who am I ?
I am Christophoros – ”bearing Christ” . Christopher in English, Krzysztof in Polish. Cristóbal in Spanish. But Am I ?
I look up into a starry sky.
– Where are you Christ ?!
– Have you died for good ?
– Or maybe you are visiting some other worlds dying on a cross again and again ?
In the vastness of the Universe we are merely a speck of a dust. Are we important at all ? To Whom ?
I increase my pace. I am running now. My thoughts are getting clearer.
I sing a song in my Mother’s tongue. Its message is clear:
” Nobody will choose friends for me !
I will seek enemy by myself !
Why the fuck everybody tells me !
What to Believe ! “