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About Me.

– Who are you ?

I look down and smile. I see a boy. He looks at me, somewhat shyly, but his eyes are burning with curiosity. It’s getting dark and he should be home, but he is here, alone.

– Well! Who are you ?

– I am Christ……

– NO YOU ARE NOT !!!  –  cold, harsh voice brutally interrupts my answer. 

This voice. I really hate the sound of it. I look into the darkness. I see men in uniforms. Strong beam of blinding light suddenly hits my eyes. I can see no more. The boy is scared. He hides behind me and grab my hand. He is trembling with fear. I hear steps. They getting close. Way to close. They are my enemy. I need to do something. I feel the shape of stone in the palm of my right hand. My leading hand. Without looking, I throw my stone into the light. Glass breaks and darkness encompasses us again. I grab boy and run. Run for life. I do not stop until I feel safe again. I’m panting, but I am calm again.

– Where do you live ?

– There ! – small hands points into directions of tall communal buildings. 

I walk him home. It’s dark already. I knock and the doors opens. 

– Joseph ! Where have you been ?! – girl’s voice, trembling with anxiety, belongs to boy’s mom. 

She is young woman looking at me with suspicion. 

– Who are you ? – she asks holding Joseph tightly in her arms.

– He is Christ – answers Joseph

I laugh.

– I am Christopher. 

– Joseph, my friend ! Promise me you will never leave your Mom again, OK ? You must protect her. You are the man. Promise ?

– I promise ! – Joseph looks at me and smile. 

I say goodbye and walk the streets of my City again. Alone. There, in the darkness, oddly enough I feel safe again. No enemy in sight. 

– Who am I ? 

I am Christophoros – ”bearing Christ” . Christopher in English, Krzysztof in Polish. Cristóbal in Spanish. But Am I ?

I look up into a starry sky. 

– Where are you Christ ?!

  Have you died for good ?

  Or maybe you are visiting some other worlds dying on a cross again and again ?

In the vastness of the Universe we are merely a speck of a dust. Are we important at all ? To Whom ?

I increase my pace. I am running now. My thoughts are getting clearer.

I sing a song in my Mother’s tongue. Its message is clear: 

” Nobody will choose friends for me !

  I will seek enemy by myself !

  Why the fuck everybody tells me !

  What to Believe !